No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
