i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize