walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
