i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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