oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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