Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
