God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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