i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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