I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
