So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
