I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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