he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
We left an ass print on the piano.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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