u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
