"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
