3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
