it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
