Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
