So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
