One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
