And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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