weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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