dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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