Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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