Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
