Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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