hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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