Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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