And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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