Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize