I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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