Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
