people are starting to question the shark bite story
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
