you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
