we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
