The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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