do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
