Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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