at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
