what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, beer. Big fan.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize