i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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