my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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