She said her name was "party"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
