Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
