your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
