They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
kristin has been a bad kristin
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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