You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
