Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Randomize
