dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
