Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
