Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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