I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize