ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
