everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
