I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
