found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
