You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
