I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
