So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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