You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
