Nicole vs. Life
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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