did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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