Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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