Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
