i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize