im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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